100 Things

1. My darling husband since Dec, 1992  cracks me up every single day.

2. My two amazing daughters are die-hard fans of Calvin & Hobbes, Monty Python and the Far Side because of my husband and me.

3. I was born at 11:14 am.

4. I am 4 minutes older than my sister.

5. If I sneeze enough times in a row, I lose my voice entirely.

6. I love to travel, have been to England and bits of Europe 5 times, but haven’t been off this continent since 1991.

7. My friendships with a variety of extraordinary, funny and inspiring women sustain me and help me remember who I am.

8. Since leaving a large Canadian city in ‘92, I have lived urbanly in Washington State and Arizona and now live more happily than I thought possible out in the New England countryside.

9. I love being an English teacher.

10. I think Buffy the Vampire Slayer is utterly brilliant and eminently teachable. DH and I bought the entire run of the series for our twelfth anniversary.

11. I am pretty good at accents and used to teach my freshmen last year in a smorgasbord of voices including Scots (my personal favorite), plummy British and French Canadian. I have held a London accent for an entire day once and will soon attempt it with a Scottish one. May read Outlander again, first.

12. Used to be a mental case for the Beatles and, while I was in 8th grade, had to hear at least one song a day or the world would have ended. Did it end? Clearly I heard enough Beatles’ songs.

13. I have held onto a box of baby clothes (in the basement) for 8 years as birth control.

14. I was a newscaster in University (Canadian for College) for the radio station and once laughed hysterically for an entire minute on air while I was supposed to be reading about the Cold War. I had to pinch myself to stop laughing.

15. I think that puns are laudable examples of linguistic and intellectual dexterity. Especially if they make me wince.

16. I have entire Monty Python routines memorized and have had for over 20 years. Surely there is better use for this valuable harddrive space; how do I download it???

17. My family celebrates Chanukah but also Sinterklaas, a Dutch holiday (my mom’s from Amsterdam); every present my family gives must have a poem that goes with it! I have 23 poems to write before our gift orgy on the 16th.

18. At some point, I think I will go for my Ph.D. in education or social linguistics, or something…

19. I had both my babies ( they are now 13 1/2 and 11) at home.

20. Shakespeare in Love makes me cry every time I watch it.

21. I currently live in my third owned house. The first one was purchased for 85 K in Mesa, AZ and this last, in the bubbled market of 2001, for considerably more.

22. I had mono in my last year of my BA at McGill and had to take my medieval history final in the middle of the following summer. My mono, unlike that of so many of my friends who slept the clock away, had me exhausted and incapable of deep sleep. I was also an emotional wreck. I felt a little cheated about the course my illness took – why couldn’t I just sleep for a month???

23. I have been a shopgirl in a Hallmark store, sold things door-to-door, a bakery cashier/server, a secretary, an assistant editor, a freelance writer/editor and a teacher. Now I am a mom, a wife, a dogkeeper, a cook, a cleaner, a chauffeur…

24. I like shmaltzy, weepy romancey, character-driven movies. Truly, Madly, Deeply comes instantly to mind.

25. I also like the supreme cinematic mind-fuck. The Usual Suspects comes instantly to mind.

26. Of the seven deadlies, I am with Mrs. Chili: envy dances not unlightly in my soul.

27. I played doctor with my friend Jeffrey under the stairs in our apartment building when we were 9. Neither of us would have got into any trouble had we not talked about it in front of his mother.

28. I am given to regularly speaking spoonerisms such as lean griefy veggies, sparking pots and copping sharts. My twin sister does them too. It cracks our families up.

29. I have had to deal with fleas in three separate residences and have the protocol for driving them out down.

30. My husband and I were set up by someone who is now married to someone we set him up with. Tit for tat, eh?

31. The smell of my dogs brings me a comfort I could never have imagined. Ok, not the wet dog smell, but that doesn’t bug me nearly as much as it used to.

32. I love the Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8 comic.

33. I think the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice is the definitive one (Colin Firth is sex on legs). I now own it (Thanks, Mrs. Chili) and will soon host a viewing party.

34. I once drove home nearly 7 hours through a snow/sleet storm in the mountains of Vermont with just a wee spot chipped out of the ice on the windshield to peer nervously out of.

35. Once, while frolicking topless (and obliviously) on a nude beach in Greece, I burned the bejesus out of my nipples. I couldn’t really wear ANYTHING much for 5 days.

36. Oatmeal with maple syrup, raisin, diced apples, toasted walnuts and a little butter and salt is one of my all time favorite comfort foods.

37. If I am writing letters or pretty much anything by hand the finer the tip on the pen the better. Gimme a razor point, extra fine pen and I will scribble until my hand cramps.

38. I have the probable equivalent of a small card store in my desk, with appropriate greeting for any number of occasions. Condolence? Check. Bar/Bat Mitzvah? Graduation? Happy divorce? Check, check, check.

39. My parents, both genealogists, have traced our family back into the mid 1600s on my mother’s side and to 1725 on my father’s. This photo was taken in Amsterdam not long after the WWII and shows my grandmother, my mother and my aunt

41. I have cracked open my head TWICE: first, when I was two, I fell off an iron banisterr and thwacked my forehead on something, causing me to need mucho stitches right between my eyes; second time happened when I was 11 and I slipped at the side of a pool and smashed my head on the way down, requiring 17 stitches (5 on the outside and 12 on the inside of the scar). Both times I went to the hospital by cab with my mother and both times ice packs on my head had made it possible for stitches. The second scar is on the left side of my forehead, diagonal to the first scar and I remember trying to figure out how to affix bolts to either side of my neck so my outward appearance could mirror my perception of the Frankenstein I felt I had become. I have worn bangs since then. Vanity, eh?

42. I am 1/4 inch shorter and one half foot size larger than my identical twin. Apparently, I also have more silver hairs than she does. Hmm.

43. I grew up less than a mile away from a train yard and always considered the horns, the squeals, the clackety-clacks part of the soundtrack of my childhood. I hear trains where I live now and the sounds always make me smile.

44. I am a bit of a coffee snob and have come to love the taste of some coffees (Trader Joes’s organic Bolivian, Organic Coffee Co. Rainforest Blend) over the bland stuff. I like it black and strong: if I can see through the coffee, I don’t want to drink it.

45. I may be physically incapable of walking by a bookstore. My favorite dates with my husband usually find us, after dinner, ensconced in the cafe at Barnes and Noble with hot chai and a pile of books.

46. I am a firm believer in the philosophy of AFGO: another fucking (or fabulous, as the case may be) growth opportunity. Life throws them at me constantly as a light tap and if I am not paying attention, sometimes I get the next reminder in the form of a two-by-four on he back of my head.

47. I love to laugh until my abs hurt and I’m rolling, snotty and hiccuping, on the floor.

48. I have been given jewelery that was my Oma’s (grandmother) , which I treasure. I like to think she knows I have her ring and brooch and is with me when I wear them.

49. My favorite color is BLUE.

50. I have 14 first cousins scattered all over North America and I am regularly in touch with 2.

51. When I am sick, I want my pajamas, a blankie to trail, a comfy couch or my bed and my mother’s sympathy. I invariably inform my mother in Montreal of my illness; even if she is miles and miles and miles away, she still ought to know I am unwell.

52. When I was 14, 3 of my older first cousins (5-15 years older) introduced me to the wonders of pot while we stood outside the house where the shiva for my grandmother was taking place.

53. When I first bought my copy of Pink Floyd’s The Final Cut in 1983, my father sat and gamely listened to it (on my record player) with me all the way through.

54. I love talking to customer service centers and will do my damnedest to figure out in what country the call center is located (Philippines, Pakistan, India, Korea, Canada), if not the state.

55. My favorite socks are striped or patterned extravagantly. In winter I love wool knee highs – I wear em’ all day and then I sleep with them on because I cannot fall asleep with cold feet.

56. When I was 17, I indulged a fascination with all things Elizabeth I; I read 2 biographies and other books about England and the world at that time. Years later, when I made it back to London, I sought out what I imagined the stone post she might have sat upon while she waited for the tide to go out before she would enter the Tower. As I remember it, she refused to enter through Traitor’s Gate. I loved Cate Blanchett’s performance years ago and can’t wait to see Helen Mirren’s.

57. In 9th grade, I wrote out my essays and book reports entirely backwards. I was careful to scribble on the back so Mr. Baker couldn’t hold the pages up to the light to read but was required to stand in front of the mirror in the teacher’s lounge to read my work.

58. When I was pregnant with youngest (aka Monkey Face), I had a sciatica attack in a Border’s Bookstore in Scottsdale that requiredmy friend  Naturedoc to drive my very unfamiliar stick shift car 15 miles to my then home, as I was incapacitated.

59. When my Oma would visit from Amsterdam when I was a child, she would always make boeterkoek, a cake with so much butter it is essentially butter fudge. Although she would do her best to hide it from me, I always found the tin of cake, usually on top of the fridge. Sometimes I would even leave some for other people.

60. Sometimes I am an absolute SPAZ; on days when I don’t seem to be in my body much, I have burned, stabbed, stubbed, mashed, bonked or/and bashed myself. Klutz’s Anonymous: “We love you, Organic Mama!”

61. At 5″4, I am a quarter of an inch shorter than my identical twin.

62. I like to think that the odd grey hairs I notice in the mirror are really, really pale and glinty brown, like the rest of my head.

63. I am and have always been small – bird boned, if you will – and I often find that I must shop in the Teen department. If I can find clothes that actually fit, they’re a size 2. This is not as fun as it sounds, really as the shops that cater to micro people are few and far between.

64. As a teenager, my friendships with the opposite sex invariably began with an insult fight. The more elaborate, creative and funny the insult the better. A friend of 25 years’ duration in England once wrote a letter to me in which he crafted an insult of an entire LENGTHY paragraph. I loved it. Sadly, I have lost the file folder of those blue Aeropost glued side letters in one of my moves.

65. My favorite flower of all time in terms of scent is freesia. Smell it, and you’ll know why. It’s a Dutch flower that my mother grew up with and as she does, I associate freesia with Passover because these flowers are available primarily in the early spring. I wish you could scratch your screen to experience it, but WordPress does not currently offer that service.

66. Ever since becoming a mother, I have slept with earplugs; I have tried to break the habit, but I find it difficult to train myself to not notice noise at night.

67. I don’t have an engagement ring – my husband and I were barely afloat financially when we wed and decided instead to get matching, handmade wedding bands; they are of three colored gold folded together to form a beautiful pattern in a process called mokume gane. This ring is close to mine, but the one that has adorned my finger for 14 years has a thin, yellow gold ridge on either side. I figure I may one day design and purchase a diamond ring (Canadian diamonds: blood-free) as husband is SO not a jewelry person.

68. My eldest daughter will be 12 on the 18th. I went into labor on the eve of my husband’s birthday, two days before.

69. I can write backward as easily as forward.

70. Every spring, we get invaded by carpenter ants. When I failed to have my peonies advance beyond small shrubberies, I realized my ants apparently weren’t the right kind to aid in the peonies’ development. Stupid ants: I love peonies.   Shrubbery? The word ALWAYS evokes Python!

71. I refer to my husband as Sideshow Bob, because his hair is tentacle-y.

72. My twin and I used to say the same things at the same time all the damn time.  Holy freaksome duo, Batman!

73. I worked in 2 different comicbook stores while I was in University.

74. I am an earring whore and although I won’t count how many pairs I have on my earrings stand, on top of my jewelry case and on my bedside table, it’s a whackload.

75.  Some of my favorite pairs of earrings I made myself, using glass beads, spacers, and freshwater pearls.

76. The farthest away from home I have ever been is Greece, where I spent 6 weeks.

77. I don’t burp like a normal person: I actually produce sounds that sound like yuuuuuuuUUURP. I used to imagine that if I lost my memory, my parents, relieved upon finding me, would tell me about the sounds I make and prove I was theirs.

78. I have seen the Indigo Girls six times and hope one day to actually sit down for a beer with Amy and Emily.

79. My mother was 8, Jewish, blond, and living under German occupation in Amsterdam in 1945 when the war ended. A large percentage of her mother’s family perished in either Auschwitz or Bergen Belsen, where she and her family would have gone if her non-Jewish father had not bribed the arresting officers.

80. Every year at Passover, I host a seder for 25 or so people, using the Haggadah we put together.

81. I love gardening and each summer, I usually grow all 5 colors of carrots, butternut squash, cucumbers, zuchinni, peas, beans and tomatoes.

82. I am the publisher of a very small house comprised of my husband and me.

83.  My dogs are Israel Canaans, native to the Negev Desert in Israel and while Shem came from a breeder in the U.S., Sephira was shipped from Israel.

84. We may well breed our dogs.

85. My favorite cities are Vancouver, Seattle, Edinburgh, Florence and London.

86. I adore the Sixth Sense and no matter how often I see it, I always cry when Cole is honest with his mother.

87. Of all the old friends I keep in regular contact with, 7 are long-distance; north of England, to Toronto, Montreal, Vegas and Chicago.

88. My daughters’ minds are a constant delight.  If only they would pick up their wet towels, life would be perfect…

89. Giraffes are my favorite animal.

90. My husband is losing his hair and I have babyfine and very little hair: one day, we’ll both be bald.

91. My family and I eat pretty much only organic foods and use only products in our home that are organic or very natural, including shampoos, soaps, sunscreens, and makeup. We’ve done so since 1994.

92. I became an American citizen in 2006.

93. I graduated with my M.Ed. in 2006.

94. Jon Stewart and the Daily Show cracks me up – I often watch the previous night’s show before going to bed.

95. I think George Carlin had more insight into humans and our foibles than most other people,

96. Ever since I had seat warmers on one of my cars, I’ve been spoiled; my current car – a purple Rendezvous- doesn’t have them and I MISS THEM, especially when it’s a million below or when I have my period.

97. A day with good, strong coffee is a good day indeed.

98.  I cuddle with my husband and kids at every (realistic) opportunity.

99. My vote for Obama was one of the most meaningful decisions I have yet made as an adult, and my first presidential vote as an American.

100. I am a good and loyal friend and I love to make people laugh.