Marriage Meme: Anniversary Edition

Marriage Meme

As with so many a meme, this one was ripped off, with gratitude, from Tense Teacher; I have saved it since the summer… I mentioned that December was MY month; not only was the 11th my birthday, but today is my anniversary.

1. Where/How did you meet?

He was dating a friend of mine when I met Bob for the first time at a party. Later, when that relationship ended, another mutual friend brought Bob over to my parents’ house and basically threw him (wearing jeans that were more patch and safety pins than fabric) into my lap. (On side note, we have since introduced this man, who had decided that Bob and I really needed to be together, to his wife: they now have 2 children).

2. How long have you known each other?

Our dating anniversary of 15 years was this past July 24th, but we really started getting to know one another a few months before that.

3. How long after you met did you start dating?

We started “dating” the night of the opening of the summer Olympics in 1992, and by the next weekend, he and I were pretty certain we’d found the person we wanted to grow old with. Had it been the week before, I might have accepted his invitation to be his date at my now brother and sister-in law’s wedding

4. How long did you date before you were engaged?

When we began dating, he was home in Canada for the summer from his medical school training in Seattle; he worked during the week in Ottawa (an hour and a half away from Montreal, where I lived) and came back to his parents’ house each weekend. I was working for a medical publishing company as the assistant editor, which I continued to do even after he went back to Seattle in early September. When I was laid off on October 15, I knew I was miserable without Bob and that I wanted to be with him; however, we had this pesky little issue of the fact that I didn’t have any status in the US and so could not easily just pick up and move. It looked bleak, but despite this, I told him that I wanted him to fly back to Montreal on a one-way ticket because I was going to move with him to Seattle and we were going to drive there over Christmas of 1992’s break. We left for Seattle on December 19th, 1992, I got a work permit at the border in Detroit where we crossed over into the states in my very stuffed Jetta, and we arrived in Seattle (after driving through Illinois, Montana, North Dakota, and Idaho ) in the snow, on Christmas day. Of course, being Jewish, we didn’t really care – all we wanted to do was find a Chinese restaurant (our traditional meal when everything in our civilization is closed for the holiday) and get something to eat. By the end of January, we were in our own apartment and, now seven months into dating, I asked Bob to marry me.

It went something like this:

We are eating dinner. I am bursting with my intention and am fidgeting. I look up at my beloved and clear my throat.

“Bob?”

“Yes?”

“Will you marry me?”

“Is that a real proposal?”

Indignantly, “Yes!”

“Well, why aren’t you down on one knee?”

Later, when he had regained consciousness, he went to play guitar in our room to gain his composure. Then he called my parents to ask their permission. When he got that permission, we had a little freakout and laughed a great deal.

5. How long was your engagement?

Just over ten months; we had to wait until he had a break from medical school. so we decided that December 19th would be the day.

6. How long have you been married?

Fourteen years.

7. What is your anniversary?

Today.

8. How many people came to your wedding reception?

Think huge Jewish wedding. We had about 250 at the reception, but over 400 were invited.

9. What kind of cake did you serve?

Chocolate, with butter cream icing and I don’t think I had any until the next day.

10. Where was your wedding?

In the Shul (synagogue) where my parents got married, where my twin and I were Bat Mitvahed, where my dad had been Bar Mitzvahed, in Montreal. When Bob and I walked down that aisle, it was turquoise.

11. What did you serve for your meal?

Something chicken-y, I think. I didn’t actually eat, because I was too busy visiting tables.

12. How many people were in your bridal party?

There were eight bridesmaids, and eight ushers.

13. Are you still friends with them all?

I am no longer friends with one of my bridesmaids and two of my ushers.

14. Did your spouse cry during the ceremony?

No. He cried afterward, when we were alone.

15. Most special moment of your wedding day?

When, after we had spoken our Hebrew vows of, “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine,” we hugged and kissed as if there was no one else around.

16. Any funny moments?

Before the ceremony, we took all of the photos with family, friends and with each other. Bob was supposed to have black socks on and somehow ended up wearing white socks under his tux antil someone got him a pair of foot coverings that wouldn’t be seen in photos! Then, before the actual ceremony, Bob was found putting acupuncture needles into his ear, to calm him down. Later, I kicked off my heels and put on white leather Keds so I could really dance but the photos were still being taken, so I am shown being practically thrown from the chair during one of the Horah dances, wearing sneakers. Oh, and there was a major hookup between one of the bridesmaids and one of the ushers.

17. Any big disasters?

No, thank goodness, although knowing that one of my bridesmaid’s dress was too tight and that she had decided to forego underwear for that reason was a little weird.

18. Where did you go on your honeymoon?

No honeymoon, but we did spend the wedding night at the Ritz Carleton.

19. How long were you gone?

We left to go back to Seattle just as soon as I got over the horrible cold/flu thing that I got the day after the wedding. For the week following my wedding, I was back in my old room in my parents’ house, sick in bed.

20. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change?

I wouldn’t change anything; it was the best party I have ever been to.

21. What side of the bed do you sleep on?

I claim the left-hand side.

22. What size is your bed?

King size.

23. Greatest strength as a couple?

We communicate very well, we listen well, we laugh a lot and we encourage each other to keep growing. We are also very silly people. We are great friends, fabulous parents and take a lot of joy in the other and in our family.

24. Greatest challenge as a couple?

I think we are designed differently, beyond plumbing; he and I look at things differently, which is also one of our strengths, but can lead to head-butting.

25. Who literally pays the bills?

I do.

26. What is your song?

Our song is “the Wood Song” by the Indigo Girls; that song speaks so beautifully (and harmoniously) of dealing challenges and weathering storms and being open to what comes next: it’s all just a roller coaster ride!

“Sometimes I ask to sneak a closer look
Skip to the final chapter of the book
And then maybe steer us clear from some of the pain it took
To get us where we are this far yeah
But the question drowns in its futility
And even I have got to laugh at me
No one gets to miss the storm of what will be
Just holding on for the ride
The wood is tired and the wood is old
We’ll make it fine if the weather holds
But if the weather holds we’ll have missed the point
Thats where I need to go”

27. What did you dance your first dance to?

Marc Cohn’s “Dig Down Deep.”

28. Describe your wedding dress.

White satin with a 4-foot train.

29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding?

The bouquet was full of irises, roses and other pinks and purples.

30. Are your wedding bands engraved?

Yes; each of us has the other’s name and date of the wedding engraved inside. I don’t have an engagement ring – instead, Bob and I went for handmade, mokume gane rings, which don’t look weathered at all.

Happy Anniversary, my love!