Ten Things Tuesday – Bat Mitzvahs

As this EVENT looms large on my horizon, I am inspired to run and hide under my bed, and cozy up to the dust buffaloes I would undoubtedly find there, relics of my stress-induced failure to handle everything as much I usually do.

That aside a few days ago, my dear bloggy friend Grammar Snob asked about Bat Mitzvahs, their history and I thought AHA!!, what a great topic for one of these TTTs. I do know a fair bit about this, but when I decided to embark on tackling the defintions, I realized I needed to get all researchy.

Onward

1. What is a Bar Mitzvah?

Bar and Bat Mitzvahs (from the Aramaic, meaning “son of the Commandment,”) is according to Encyclopedia.com, the ceremony in which the young Jewish male is initiated into the religious community, traditionally at the age of 13 years and a day. The celebrant performs his first act as an adult, saying the blessing for the reading in the synagogue of part of the weekly portion of the Torah or, more commonly, performing the actual reading. Originally, whether a person recited Torah or not, when they were thirteen they became Bar Mitzvah, which essentially meant that as new adults in the eyes of the community, they were now entirely responsible for all their actions and possible repercussions, absolving their parents of all of those responsibilities. Held near or on the child’s Hebrew birthday, it’s a hugely significant moment in a young Jewish person’s life. ANd ours is in MARCH. IN NEW ENGLAND The synagogue I attend normally tries to limit any Mitzvah during snow season, but we insisted. Give us a hand, will you, and do the anti-snow dance?

2. What about BAT Mitzvahs?

In 1922, the Bas or Bat Mitzvah was introduced into Reform, Conservative, and Reconstructionist (and to some extent, the Orthodox) Jewish societies in the United States, and eventually became identical to the Bar Mitzvah in scope and responsibility. Most boys are made Bar Mitzvah at 12, while many synagogues (or Shuls) conduct Bat Mitzvahs at 13. In 1979, when we were almost 13, my twin and I sang all the prayers and the portion together in our Shul’s first B’not (together) Mitzvah.

3. What ARE the responsibilities of the young Bar or Bat Mitvah?

The ceremony includes the reading of the weekly Haftarah (The haftarah (Hebrew: הפטרה‎; meaning “parting,” “taking leave”). The haftarah reading consists of a short portion from all the selections of Hebrew Bible and usually has a thematic link to the Torah reading that precedes it. When the haftarah is read in the synagogue it is sung (with a special vocal modulation or cantillation taught to the child), and its related blessings are said before and after it.

Boo has to give three speeches: one is about becoming a woman in the eyes of the community, one describes what the themes of her Torah portion mean to her and what it was like to prepare for her day, and the other is a reflective/gratitude short speech that will have her discussing her perspective on the communal affair this really is.

When I think back, I recall that we gave no speeches, but that the Rabbi did – HE told US what it all meant and I think had we been more involved in discussing our portion and our connection to it, the entire thing would have meant much more and contributed to the deeper attachment to my heritage I could not seek until I was an adult.

4. What about the celebrations?

Today the religious ceremony is accompanied by a social celebration, a feast in celebration of the fulfillment of a commandment. In the fifties, the celebrations were limited to immediate family only and the typical gift was an 18 dollar check or a fountain pen. Somehow, the financial response to this Jewish and very spiritual event morphed, on the spectrum of extremes, somewhere into the next galaxy: for many people, the Bar Mitzvah is a themed affair – Pirates, or Black and White, or Paris, or South Pacific – with lavish decorations and hired entertainers, which to my mind miss the point of the whole thing.

This is not to say that our affair hasn’t involved clothing choices or the hiring of a DJ, but we’ve also incorporating education, charity and as much sustainability as possible with food, candles (hand-dipped from an organic bee-keeper in Kentucky!), wines, and paper goods. I’ll tkae photos of the event iteslf – I think it’s going to be fabulous. We’re using the largest room in the center and because it’s not exactly high season, we were able to book it for a small song.

5. Why do men wear kippahs, or kippot?

A kippah (Hebrew: כִּפָּה‎ kippa) is traditionally worn as a sign of respect by men during religious services. We couldn’t decide on the color or colors of kippot, so we got three, plus the special one for the immediate family males. No, women aren’t required to wear them, but aren’t directed not to, so many women who have had a Bat Mitzvah wear them during services. Many women wear hats during services and I have vivid memories of sitting there as a child attempting to stave off mind-numbing boredom by counting these sometimes outrageous (think just south of British horse-racing elite); I’d categorize them by size, color, and how many feathers were sticking out of them.

6. What’s with all the standing up and sitting down during a Bat Mitzvah?

At the synagogue, a person must stand in the direct presence of the Torah scrolls (kept covered in the ark, often with silver front pieces and finials), so when the ark is opened, which is often, everyone is directed to rise; it can get fairly athletic. This, at left, is the sanctuary and aisle of the Temple where I counted hats, had my Bat Mitzvah (my father had his Bar there, and Bob and I were married there). Trust me, that’s a HUGE room. What’s NOT in the shot are the enormous wooden doors at the rear of the sanctuary that were too large for little hands to open AND which were locked when the Ark was opened.

7. What is a tallis?

A tallis, (Hebrew: טַלִּית‎),with its knotted strands, is a ritual prayer shawl Jewish men and, increasingly, women wear during religious services. An ideal gift for a new Bat/Bar Mitzvah, it is symbol of the connection between the individual and the rituals of the Jewish tradition. The knotted strands are on each of the four corners of the shawl and are the most important part of the garment – the strands were part of the original commandment in the Torah.

According to Askmoses.com, “Each tassel consists of four long white strings, hand-tied onto the jersey through pairs of holes just off each corner. After the first anchoring knot, a series of alternating spirals and knots form the first few inches of the tassel, with the loose strings creating the remainder. The finished product vaguely resembles a tasseled curtain drawstring.”

Tallit can be a multitude of colors and fabrics and have become the terrain of many Jewish artists who paint silk ones, weave them or assemble them out of different fabrics. My husband is making Boo’s out of raw silk and is painting it and affixing different color silk all over it. It’s currently a work in progress, but I will post a photo of it when it’s done. We’ll have to purchase the tassels from an officially-sanctioned store, but fortunately, we’ll be able to find them in nearest huge city.

9. The Cantor

In many congregations, alongside the Rabbi, who chants the Torah, there is a Cantor, who sings the service. Possessing of a range of marvelous voices, Cantors are traditionally male but are, again, increasingly female. Our Synagogue has only a Rabbi but for our services, Bob’s childhood friend – the Cantor at the largest Reform Synagogue in the USA – will be officiating with his other worldly voice. The Rabbi is willing to share the limelight and our friend, father to a 3-years old a nearly 2 week old, will join us for the services and party and get home to his wife early the next day.

10. The brunch after it’s all said and sung

Ok, this is NOT a traditional part of the Mitzvah, but it is where everyone can gather one last time for a little nosh. Many family members are coming in from all over – some friends we haven’t seen in years, as well – and all the out-of-towners will show up at my house on he Sunday am to have breakfast. All 40 or so of them. I think this may be the single largest stressor on my plate, but since I will have dear friends, both sister and my parents around, I can’t wait to delegate.

18 days and counting.