Beware!
In what has unfortunately become an annual event, one of my dogs – this time my male one – got his stupid hairy self skunked last night. Last year it was the wench, but she apparently learned her lesson and went nowhere near the bi-colored varmint. Not so much Shem. He then shared his misfortune with his family!
1. For those of you – outside North America, certainly – who have never had the dubious pleasure of encountering this phenomena up close and personal-like, horrible does not BEGIN to cover the experience of this stench. Let’s do a little visualization, er smellization: you are surrounded by the acrid assault of burning tires,
2. After being anointed, my poor Shem returned to the house (after a round of very distressed barking), blinking furiously. The pong arrived before he did, the reek so powerful as to bring on tears and coughs.
3. This IS the smell against which all other nasty fetid fumes should be measured. Honestly, the stuff should be used for combat, nevermind guns and bombs.
4. Bob the wunderhusband immediately got Shem into the garage and doused him repeatedly with Nature’s Miracle Skunk scent remover. Bob then came upstairs and after washing his hands over and over (not that it helped), he took off all his clothing and started a wash.
5. Our daughters were heard to yowl, “OH NO!!” and then we heard them slam their door in the futile hopes of preventing the spread of the unholy miasma.
6. Despite numerous candles burning vanilla all over the house, the smell was solidly with us, reminding me of the movie Labyrinth(which played the other night at the Thai restaurant where we celebrated Monkey’s 11th).
7. We slept with every possible window open but since skunks offend within at least a five-mile radius, there was quite a lot of the stink outside, as well as inside: we breathed skunk all night and I am here to tell you that it IS possible to breathe entirely under one’s covers.
8. This will fade: I’ll wash the floors and surfaces and light candles and it will take two or three days for the worst to become a faded memory, kind of like childbirth.
9. DId I mention YUCK?
10. Since this appears to be an annual thing, we’ll make sure we’ve got all the supplies for next year’s blessed event… Maybe, just maybe, Shem and Sephira will learn to avoid these creatures, but I am not holding my breath, because if I were, I wouldn’t be smelling skunk!
For those of who’ve been here, I am SO not exaggerating, am I?
Call me weird (no, don’t!) but I like the smell of skunk. Of course, I’ve never smelled it as concentrated as you have. I just smell it while I’m driving down the road and happen to catch a quick whiff. I think if I smelled it in the same regard you do yearly, I would rethink the liking of that smell.
I’m so sorry. I hope you get the smell out of everything soon.
Kari; it’s times like these that remind me that I’m ALIVE! Gloriously ALIVE! Uh, and possessed of a fuctioning nose!
Oh, she’s not exaggerating, y’all. I’ve not had to deal with skunky dog up-close and personal since I was a kid (my dog got it about once a year – my cats are a little less likely to be blasted), but I’ve had them go off in my immediate area (I had to roll the windows closed in the middle of the night just last week, as a matter of fact). BLECH!
Luckily my dog hasn’t been sprayed but quite regularly around my house the resident skunks spray something out there and it can be quite, er, intense! There’s definitely a difference between driving through it and having it in your yard (I agree, Kari, I kind of like the smell if it’s brief and light) so I can imagine how bad it must be INSIDE your house!
I once had a skunk decide to practice his own brand of aromatherapy right outside my apartment window. The smell permeated the place for days. What was embarrassing was going to class, opening up my bookbag and having the skunk funk rise up and assault my peers. I had to throw out my bookbag.
Chili – blasted is dead on for what happened. Ugh
Jules, I actually don’t mind the eau to skunk in the distance, but this? This has to be smelled to be believed and I am so not recommending it. : )
Dingo – my daughter came home from school wailing about her stenchy books, but she did have the presence of mind to joke about her “scented” poster presentation. I won’t let her throw away her backpack because I have some stuff that will take out that provocative aroma, but she is the final sniff test. I’m totally borrowing (with credit!) “skunk funk” just so you know – !
I hope you don’t have to throw anything out, especially your dog. LOL. I’m so glad I don’t have a dog. I’ve only smelled skunks as roadkill, so I don’t know how bad it is really. I had the smell of rotten potatoes greet me this morning. That’s pretty gross too.
Sorry your dog got sprayed. Yuck! For me, the worst smell ever is used gear oil. Yuck, yuck!