Shem’s been living the high life: he gets to be hand fed raw liver and ground buffalo, he gets to drink out of the toilet, he gets to hang out under Boo’s desk and sleep on the floor of the bathroom. He wandered outside in the shade this morning, and then soaked up some sun on the porch.
Myrna, the Canaan breeder in Israel confirmed what we already know – that they are strong, resilient dogs, and some of them have survived despite impossible odds. Also, that when their time is upon them, they will let us know by withdrawing, refusing to drink or eat, and by being unresponsive to stimulus.
Shem is not yet at that point.
What we do know is that the transfusion he received two days ago still buoys his systems and that he may well begin a dramatic decline soon. Bob and I stagger through all the stages of grief, stopping at denial a fair bit, but we’re clear this, right now, is temporary.
For now, it’s enough.
My darling husband is blaming himself for not being more suspicious of his changes post surgery, for not reacting quick enough when it was clear Shem was getting sicker. He hopes Shem will forgive him before he goes. Bob also hopes to forgive himself.
Tomorrow, Bob will go to work, and I will tend Shem, feed him if he will take it, take him outside a few times a day to relieve what he overactive kidneys produce, keep him company and ponder whatever stage of grief I’ve alighted to at that moment.
It is what it is.
Thank you all for your words of support and love; so, so much appreciated.
I love those ears and that pink nose. How is Sephira doing? Is she hanging around Shem or giving him space? You know I am thinking of you and holding your entire family in my heart.
As someone also keeping vigil, I know very well what you’re going through. Remember, though, that you have an option to relieve suffering that isn’t available to me; don’t be afraid to use it – you’ll know when…
Thank you, Dingo! Sephira is mostly avoiding Shem when they are in the same room, and Shem is not acknowledging her. I think she knows something BIG is up, and when she isn’t crated, is pretty much giving us all her attention.
Chilil; Yes, we will know when, and I wish I knew (and could extend that ability to you) when precisely, so I could plan. Just taking it as it comes. Today was a good day and although he’s weak – I had to carry him up the stairs – he ate, and drank, didn’t barf, and slept a great deal. I don’t know what that means, except that it was a good day. We are prepared for this to be the goodbye weekend, if it comes to that.
I am so sorry for all of this. I can’t imagine how much pain you’re in and I wish I could take it all away.
I wish I had words of wisdom, but I don’t. All I have is love and I’m sending it all the time…..
Sorry to read about Shem. Love him while you’ve got him. Good dog.
His face in that photograph really conveys his plight. I am sorry he’s suffering.
Your poor husband.